Quote:
Originally Posted by PeeJay
A joint session with you and your mom could be really groundbreaking and helpful.
As far as your mentor, I don't know why her motivation wasn't readily apparent? It seemed she wanted to share with you, get closer to you and maybe relate to you a little? I would be leery about asking and just enjoy the closeness.
I know you are afraid of getting too close, because of your past history, but I also think that being in therapy so long may have made you ... overthink? ... these kinds of things?
I only say so because I had amazingly close mentors whom I was SUPER attached to, and I never questioned them because I didn't even know to question them. It's only now that I'm in therapy that I think about things like *needs* and *boundaries.* I previously never even uttered those two words!
My relationships just were. Without too much thought or digging around in them. They just existed. And they did calm down over time as I naturally progressed to the next stages of life.
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I know that I am definitely overthinking this situation with mentor-figure, but I also know that what she told me did not sit well with me, and I have no idea what her intention was - if it was just an innocent thing she might have shared with any other student (which is not what it felt like to me) or if she's inviting me to share super personal things with her (which I don't think is the case either) or if she just for some reason felt like she could trust me with some deep stuff (??? appropriateness?).
Something was just flagging for me with that, and maybe past stuff, but also the fact that I know if her boss had poked his head into her office at that moment, she probably would have stopped herself mid-sentence and turned the discussion back to what we were supposed to be talking about, namely my essay. So I think the best way to feel better about this situation is to ask for clarification. Because the feelings I have been having around that particular disclosure, ex. thinking about her as a hurt little kid and wondering why she was sharing that experience with me, are not particularly comfortable and need to be resolved.
I think maybe I just want to tell her that it upset me to think of her like that. But I would also want to know if she told me because it was a big deal to her (so a trust thing) or if it was just an offhand comment she might have made to anyone and I'm reading way too much into it.