I am sorry that you are struggling and your mother is contributing to your pain. good self esteem is linked to feeling good about yourself. so if that means feeling good about how you present yourself...however that is, in whatever colors...you are going to feel good about you. youre not going to feel good in a brightly colored shirt if you don't like bright colors. it is that simple. you need to do things that make you happy if you want to raise your self esteem. only you can discover what those things are. take care