Because the other part of my reply might be long I'll start with the busy mind. Usually if I get to overthinking or have 'racing thoughts', I probably need to talk to my dr as that points towards me having mixed or hypomania coming on. I also will write mythoughts long hand in a journal to get the thoughts out of my head.

As for the other part of your message. I lived 43 years before BP showed up in my life. At least thats how it seemed. Life was fine, I drifted along with a few minor depressions nothing big, raised my kids, moveda bunch of times. Then BAM I got sick in 2006. 2 manias 2 depressions, dr visits, a dx of bp and anxiety, a handful of psychotropic drugs and life has never been the same since. I miss the old me, even if I wasnt great, I was ok. Now its an everyday thing. How do I feel today? Am I ok today? I spend money on dr visits and meds and gas to get to appts that I'd love to spend on fun things.

It is what it is. So I do what I have to do to stay healthy. I have 2 sons, both getting married this summer. One day I will be a grandmother, which I look forward to. My family means everything to me, bipolar wont keep me from being a part of it.