The thread title is my husband's response, complete with the wincing and the head shaking, when I present an idea to him that he thinks, right off the bat, won't work. I've tried to tell him how that reaction makes me feel. He might as well come right out and say, "You're an idiot for coming up with that idea." It's invalidating.

But when I try to tell him that, the ONLY thing he will do is keep repeating the reasons he doesn't think the idea will work.

It's not about the damned idea. I'm not trying to convince him to go along with it if he doesn't want to, but he thinks I am, which is, I suppose, the reason he just keeps on shooting it down.

Instead, my issue is about his dismissive reaction to it. If he thinks my idea won't work, he can say, "Here's my concern about that," or, "Have you thought about...." instead of that wincing, head-shaking, "no-no-no" thing, as if he's just heard the stupidest thing ever said.

Does anybody understand? And is there any way I can communicate this to him?

Of course, half the time he ends up doing what I suggested anyway--but when he does, he'll act like it was HIS idea all along....