Yes, I was pretty sure I had bipolar but refused to seek treatment because of fear (both weight gain and hospitalization). My husband knew he had psychiatric issues also. We felt that the one (and only) way our parents failed us in that regard is not seeking treatment for us the few times bipolar broke through our normal child façade. However we knew what we were looking for. We had been there. We would make sure our children would not suffer. We had a son.

Within a couple or months we noticed he needed help. Over the next couple of years We did everything privately to insure he would be without diagnosis when we finally asked for help it fell on deaf ears .everything from there's no problems, he'll catch up to stop leaving your kid outside in the summer (pick marks). It wasn't until he attempted to take his life. He's now on 3 different psych meds at 11 he's been diagnosed autism spectrum, mood disorder, and ADHD. Life is not the easiest for him mostly because people expect him to do certain things because he looks and sounds capable. I've been told to expect his teen years to be one big mixed episode. All his disorders can be genetic. We don't know which if any are genetic.

Pregnancy, birth, and post partume were hell for me I WISH I had pysch services then. I'm so glad my husband refused when I'd beg to give him up, and refused to let me give up. He's only started trusting me to be alone with our son for longer then a have hour in the past 5 years. He did leave us alone but he'd know we'd be playing hide and seek (always heard people breaking into the house), playing in a room behind 3 locks, or find him playing and me locked in the bathroom crying because he was a tough kid to handle (usually in episode).

Some days I look at him and think "what did I do? I'm so selfish. How could I do this to another person?" Usually I'm extremely optimistic and feel I have the awesomest kid in the world. I'm told we are wonderful parents. The guilt and uncertainty come with parenting. I would still have a child, but ask for much more help for myself and him. Any parent can have a child that need extra help whether its a child that matures slower, has issues learning a topic or actually special needs. Yes we knew genetically we would have a mentally I'll child but never did I suspect from the start. I would still only have one child. I don't feel I could handle 3 special needs kids. My sisters kids had the same chances her 4th child is the only special needs child. My son will have disadvantages to others but he'll also be more well adjusted and have the ability to advocate then most children.

I would ask yourself if you are able to handle a child that has severe mental illness or disability? I'd suggest that to any parent not just a person that has a high chance genetically.