I've been realizing this lately, especially with T but also with mentor-figure, a lot of the time when I feel like I need them, I discover after a few hours that I really don't need them, I just want them. I never go see mentor-figure when I feel like maybe I need her, because that would be setting our relationship up for disaster. Once the urgency is gone, then I allow myself to stop by her office, because then I know I want her but don't need her and I'm in a place where I can respect and be attuned to her comfort level instead of clinging to her.

With T, when I want her but don't need her, I'm learning to not contact her. It's hard. But I can do it.