thankyou for your posts and yes, fraid of being alone, very weak person. also fear of leaving what has been my life for 19 years.
fear of not being able to cope. just sad at 19 years down the drain. all i want is affection. is that so much to ask, i just need to be loved by him, shown love, not flowers or material things. he fiinds it hard to show his feelings, but i begged him to hold me on saturday night, i wrapped my arms and legs around him and his was just an empty hug, and he never said he loved me.

it's just hopeless.

jin