It must be hard being you. But you have made it this far. So don't feel so bad about yourself. You're obviously stronger than you think. And I see that you said you hate your talents... Well even though you said you hate them, at least admitting you have talents shows me that you aren't too far gone I think you can do it. You may feel lost and confused but you're just trying to find yourself. Nothing is "wrong" with you. You just need to broaden the way you look at things. There isn't a specific way a person should be. You don't have to me a certain way to be "correct". Just be you and see where that takes you. I know you'll figure it all out eventually. Just be patient and keep us updated on how you're doing