heavy heart
tears overflowing
at a loss
no way of knowing
what happens next
i'm backing out
from day to day
either laugh or shout.
just want to sleep
and never wake up
unless i' free
i'm finding it tough.
can't seem to grasp
a thread this time
just falling quick,
all the way down.
self pity is ugly
i understand
just need my grandads
loving hand.

heart feels heavy
hardly a beat
confusion reigns
i feel the heat
in my face, it's hot
from so much crying
sweet release
to think of dying.

to just be still
without a care
live with angels
be light as air
but alas not so
my babies would cry
a terrible legacy
i cannot die.

so live in this hell
is what i must do
smile a brave smile
and do what i do.
tell myself come on
get yourself up
and walk that same path
til my hearts had enough.

jin xxxxx