Something gave me a little mood lifter today, well, other than a shower...I was looking through my email for something and found emails from me to other people from years ago, and I just cried a lot from reading some of them because I MISS ME. I miss that annoyingly happy cheerful person that people swore was on 'something' because no one is that happy. I never realized how bad the relationship was until I was out of there and in college taking a bacc core health class on relationships. I understand why abuse victims go back, and it's horrible, but I understand

I swear, some people just see a gentle, sensitive soul and seek to only destroy it. It gives them power that they can't muster up for themselves.

I've got new insurance and will look into what I can do for therapy. I have a physical on Friday and will talk to that doc about it also. I'm trying to be positive about Friday, but she is awful (the doctor), and I usually come home crying. I could go in there with my arm hanging off and she would change the subject about why am I so fat....and I've gained a LOT of weight since I was in there last.