If you get to a point where you feel like you could hurt him then yes there is a problem. Are you in therapy? Have you had any anger management? Have you taken any parenting classes? I don't think you have failed as a mom but if all you are doing is yelling and your husband does all the parenting, what kind of relationship will your child have with you? What kind of problems will they have in the future because of this?

When it comes to kids I don't mess around, my suggestion would be to get into some therapy, control your temper and don't yell (i know it is hard but believe me it will be better for the child). You have to put the child first always.