If you can, take the chance of one visit to the place near you just to get the information you need. Who is available in your area? Can you afford it? Do you qualify for financial/health insurance support?
I can understand your boyfriend's response, he is frightened (he may not think so...) and wants to believe that this will be easily solved, it is very uncomfortable for those around us when we are struggling, especially when they have seen us do well and have a hard time understanding why we can't just use a few easy tools to "fix" things. Men, particularly want to have things "fixed" and move on. This is tough for both of you. But, I think he needs to understand that you need more just now. Unless you are actively suicidal, expressing such, have a plan, and intent, he/you do not need to worry that you will be hospitalized. This would be a last resort. The fact that you feel you need help, and you want to look for help, tells me you need this right now.
None of us, generally, want to reach out like this, it is taking a risk.
You might want to call the place near you and just talk to someone first. See how you feel about their response. You could also call a hotline, anonymously, and see if they can give you information. If the urges come back strongly, do go to the ER, let them know you do not want to act on your feeling but that you need some help. Again, this would be unlikely to result in any hospitalization unless you really are in danger, in which case, that is better than the alternative.
Hugs to you and your boyfriend. Let him know how he can help you. Sometimes small things mean a lot. You are not 'crazy', you are in pain.