Hi Jinnyann,
Now I'm confused. I thought what you wrote in Jen's thread is supposed to go here but now I'm not sure. In anycase- I wanted to write back to you. Maybe this is the wrong thread but who cares-

You wrote: thankyou jax, for caringand taking thetime to write to me.

i've been very betrayed froma little girl by my own mother, and later my father. and apsychologist(man)if you could call him that. i don't trust anyone much, get very clingy and innsecure. feel like people are abandoningme left right and centre. my husband isn't very affectionate andi really need that. i seriously am beginning to wonder if my marriage will work at all. i've told him what i need, he just can't or won't give it to me, he finds it hard i know we've been together for 19 years. i've had enough now, i want to behappy and loved and cuddled and wanted. i'm goingto shut up now before islide again lol. take care

jinnyann(kerry)xxxx

I'm sorry you've been betrayed and abandoned. I feel the same way sometimes-a lot of times. It's hard to trust again once that foundation is shaken up and damaged so badly in your childhood and it really stinks because we had no control over it and how it would shape us but we're stuck with the consequences. Sometimes I think all we can do is to learn to rely on ourselves. Well, that's what I do-I don't know if would be any good for you but I find that needing people usually ends up hurting me.
I'm not married and I only know about husbands from what I've heard from other women but I am absolutely sure that you're not alone with what you're going through with your husband. As a matter of fact, from what I've heard, it seems to be the norm. For whatever the reason, men just seem to be like that. In this case, if you're thinking it-the grass may not be greener on the other side. Maybe you could try talking to him again? Or just hug and be affectionate with him and see how he responds?
I'm sorry you're not feeling cuddled, loved and wanted.
Have you thought about marriage counsling?
((((((((Jinnyann))))))))))) Things will be okay and you're not going to slide. You just got to work it out. You know? You can cut off your hair when there's a big stubborn knot in it or you can patiently work out the kinks. Only you can decide what you can live with.