It's been a struggle, but I have not had any alcohol since November 30, 2013. I think about drinking constantly; went to one AA meeting, but it was probably the wrong one since it was a closed meeting, and I didn't understand the difference. Though I was welcomed, I felt very out of place. Now, I'm just struggling with the lack of what was a reliable coping mechanism of mine for well over 20 years...I'm rather lost right now...