I do not think telling someone you are afraid to go on if you are afraid to go on is manipulative at all. Nothing wrong with wanting to protect ourselves, although I judge myself for that a lot too. I think, rather, it helps to give our therapists that type of signal where we are vulnerable, so they do not exacerbate a difficult situation.

Like others have said, just because we ask for gentleness, that doesn't force them to be gentle, so you are not controlling, just communicating where you are at, and it's ok to not want to be judged! That's arguably the key component of therapy.