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mouse_ said:
just come back from T. Pain motivating me to be more open. Told her that I feel like I want to be held and rocked by her, but if she attempted to really do that, I would most proberbly bolt for the door.

She said but it seems this is how our relationship is right now, one of soothing and rocking, but with words. Yes thats true, I felt "fed" again once she pointed that out, that at least I know that need of wanting to be held is getting met.

............my feeling bad about expecting anything from T is because I feel I should be feeding myself.

I guess thats it, I do struggle with "taking"..anyways I feel better this afternoon.

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Hey mouse
I want to say how courageous you are for talking about this with your T!! I really also liked her response to what you had to say. Sounds like she's really open to "hearing" you and providing a very safe place for you so i hope this continues for you...

Maybe you have a hard time letting ppl "care" for you and I can quite understand after what you said about the baby bottle. It's like you desperately want someone (Your T?) to care and then you don't want or need them to and you get confused by this. At least that's how it seems to me...I'm having similar experiences...it's very weird and unnerving. But yea, you have to care about you overall, and imo, that's the toughest ya know?

I am happy you're sharing this, as I can relate and it's kind of inspiring how you said what you said to your t.