Hi puzzclar, yes you gave in but you held out first as long as you could!! You'd had a really emotional experience and you tried to deal with it at the time, you DID try!!
Although the thoughts of what you did..............may still be there, they don't have to take you back......Now you ARE in a clearer place if you can try to give yourself the chance to forgive (?) yourself (although nothing to forgive!) and move that little bit more forward. You DO have so much strength, even though I know it's hard to recognize right now, it's still there, it's still real.
And as for the therapy session, you know you made a massive stride, feel proud of yourself. You really can put that session more to the back of your mind right now if you want to/it makes you more comfortable, but know you really are going to have something to your advantage the next session/s or whenever you feel ready.
Now, taking away everything else, just how important is it to you that you go to rehersal? Do you think you could make that decision as YOU/ as in what's best for YOU?
Go with what you feel but know that you HAVE got the option/CAN do either/or. It is down to YOUR personal preference at the end of the day.
Alison