Quote:
Originally Posted by Alone & confused
My bf of 6 years still doesn't know how to be the most supportive person when my moodswings get rough, & At first , he wasn't sure he could be more than "friends with benefits" but he came around. It's still a work in progress though. I was frustrated, hurt & discouraged for years thinking he would never return my feelings, but now he does. I said that to say this; is it maybe possible that even though this person can't "walk the path "with you that maybe he could "meet you down the road" at some point? Could he maybe just not know how to help you go through your journey? I wouldn't give up Hope just yet! Just keep working on making yourself whole because You deserve to be! Even if he doesn't deserve you. But you may just be surprised
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We don't meet down the road again. Once I get into a doctoral program and graduate, I'll have to leave the area to find a job. Who knows where I'll end up. And he wouldn't have ever been able to come with me.
He has a son.
I knew this and that's why I was never going to say anything. He was the one that brought up the fact that I like him and brought it up to my conscious level of thinking. I mean, even if we became best friends, I'd still have to leave in about 3 years. So how can it not hurt to feel love (of any sort, romantic, platonic, or otherwise) and know no matter what each of you feel, you know exactly when it's going to leave your life.
A long time ago, I made the decision to put school/future career over everything else. I never had friends, I never felt love, so it made sense. It still does honestly. That sort of stuff is all I'm good for. It's the only place where I'm a "teacher"—I don't know if I mentioned it in this thread, but the guy also wants to be with someone who is a "teacher" to him (a teacher in life, love, blah blah blah) and I could only ever be a teacher of music, composing, performance, theory, writing…all stuff that I don't even know where or if it's truly important out of academia. So, basically, I'm a fraud.
I think deep down, I've always been a fraud. I'm sure there are enough misplaced commas in this post to prove that.