I'm not 'officially' diagnosed BPD, but if I have any say in it, which I think I should, I think I have it. Anyway, I often feel the same way you do. I am so afraid of my family, my friends, my cat dying and leaving me. I just realized what they said originally was an adjustment disorder when I started full time work out of college was really my fear that my family would be doing things without me, that we were separating as I was growing up. I also go back and forth on people a lot when I first meet them.