Dear T,

Do you really want me to write you?

A part of me can't accept that you really enjoy hearing my convoluted thoughts week after week. It's weird because in the beginning it was so easy to write you 1-2 times a week, and then I just stopped. You've said "please please keep writing me" but...something in me just won't allow myself to do it anymore. Nights like these I feel so alone and wish that I could write you because even in just writing you it seems like you are with me, encouraging me and just loving me. But, I can't bring myself to tell you these things in email and I don't know why. You always reply; you always encourage more emails - I don't know where the block is. Anyways, thank you for being available to me even if I don't always take you up on the offer. I just hope my lack of participation doesn't cause you to take the offer away. Maybe that's what i'm really afraid of... I don't know.

Anyways, thank you for making me feel that even when I'm just thinking about you; you're along side me cheering me on in spirit.