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Old Feb 21, 2014, 03:19 AM
Anonymous33999
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrSkipper View Post
I think that will make things confusing. Structure in a BDSM relationship is extremely important, especially as a novice.
That all depends on the novice.To some people, a rigid system full of protocol and rules can be very unappealing. However, it does seem that some people prefer to have guidelines and examples to follow. I personally find that it is harder to discover what you are 'into' or what you 'identify as' when you are thrust into a world of preset ideas and labels. But that's just me. I always hated the topic of "How can I be a good sub" (or other such self-appointed title). I would hold my tongue, but I always felt like saying, "The best way to be a good sub, is to stop trying to be a good sub."
One of the more detrimental things in BDSM is trying to fit yourself into someone elses little mold of what your role should be (I've been there). Once a person can let go of that concept and embrace themselves for what they want and need, they often find that they are much happier with the outcome of their interludes. More often than not, this seems to be a pilgrimage that most newbies to the world of BDSM seem to go through. I know I did. haha
I would have saved myself a lot of headache and problems if I had just been more choosey and assertive of what I had wanted (and did not want) from the get go; and not listened to the structure of others.
Thanks for this!
Searhing4peace