I definately want to wait until she get's back in the country to talk to her, I'm hoping she will see at least some of her errors and apologize, but I can't imagine how I could continue with her if she feels she did nothing wrong and shows no remorse.

I do indeed plan to call my old psychiatrist (we've remained in touch over the years).

Whenever I feel suicidal, I try to give myself at least a month to wait and see if there will be any positive changes, it has worked every time since my depression is cyclical.

But I honestly can't see myself going on in a world in which money is more important to people than anything else. I honestly can't understand how money can mean more to this woman than all the kindness and affection I've shown her over so many years.