I do agree that I am horrible in communicating, that is probably what makes it harder to get my problem(s) out in the open. I have family and friends that just don't understand...they all have their own problems. I have tried to reach out for help from them and they tell me things I don't want to hear or doesn't help then I drop it because I feel ashamed to be in such a state. I do think my biggest fault is being stubborn, which brings me to feeling stupid and hopeless and just goes downhill from there. I just don't know what to do...