I say that I have "a therapist on retainer". In my many years of learning to coexist with clinical depression I've encountered many nice people who tell me I don't need a therapist, that they will listen to me. I politely decline. If I try to talk to a family member or friend I know that I will feel guilty for taking their time and I won't be comfortable talking about everything. With a therapist, I am paying them to listen to me for an hour and ii can talk about anything including the therapist. Some might suggest talking to a church leader or a rabbi. I'm far from religious and would never feel comfortable, but if you are religious, this may be another option. The key right now for you is to start expressing your feelings, in writing, through art, or verbally.
Good luck!