I am just the opposite. I love affection and love. I think I yearn for it as I grew up in a family too that didn't love, kiss, hug or show any kind of f emotions. My very abusive childhood is where my bpd comes from but I think there is a genetic component too. I used to be very reckless with sex to. I had no trouble going home with a complete stranger. In fact I'm surprised that I wasn't killed or raped. I was also sexually abused by my brother. That Limits my ability to truely b enjoy sex. I hate it! I'm in a very loving relationship and still b feel v scared that something bad will happen to him. I know he wouldn't leave me. It's a fear that he might die. It's a true genuine love and I'm so lucky to find someone who really accepts me and my illness. I do think that what you suffer from is both bpd and some kind of ptsd. Were you abused growing up?

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