I will have thought of it.

I wish that I could stop thinking in worst-case scenerio terms. In almost all aspects of my life, I am happy and satisfied but that doesn't stop me from thinking that the worst is going to happen. No one very close to me has ever died so I often think about loved ones dying and how I will handle that. Although my husband deeply loves me and we are on the upswing of some tough times, I feel paralyzed by the fear of him someday just taking off. This fear often gets so severe that I am afraid to have children because I don't want to be left alone as a single parent. The things in life I can't control scare the crap out of me- and, really what can we control?

Stick with me while I tell you a story about my weekend. Our computer was totally virused/spywared out and wouldn't even function on Saturday. So I call around and find a place that said they could probably fix it that day. I bring it in, drop it off (it is not really a regular office, but one on the second floor of a run-down building with just one guy there, but it was a Saturday...) Anyways, he says the scan will take 2-4 hours. 5-6 hours go by and Saturday night I am just freaking out. I give a call, no answer. By later that night, after no phone call, I am convinced that I have been taken for a ride, am calling the emergency number on the voice mail, leaving urgent messages. I was certain this guy was getting credit card info from the computer or just stealing the darn thing! Sunday was worse, and didn't hear anything until today. Maybe a "rational" person would think that it took longer than he thought, didn't work on Sundays, etc. But me, no, any bad thought about the situation I could think of, I thought it.

Please give any suggestions as to how to calm these sorts of fears. I would rather not go back on meds as many of you know, but I also start to feel "crazy" sometimes. My husband, who lets mostly everything roll off his back, does not understand and has a difficult time watching me not be able to "calm down".

Help! Anyone?