hmm. i would say that your teacher hasn't spent enough time in the classroom...

what sort of therapy does he do? CBT? i'm guessing that because CBT isn't terribly effective for treating personality disorders so maybe he has made a little mistake that goes like this: 'I don't have much success with treating personality disorders, therefore they never get better'. I would say: He is an idiot.

People tend to mellow with their personality styles as they get older. There is a lot of research on that.

Most of the research on personality disorders is on borderline and antisocial.

I don't think that there are all that many clinicians or researchers who would endorse your teachers view on personality disorders. I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut, but that is me, and I guess I like to argue ;-)

But then...

I don't think that there are all that many clinicians or researchers who would endorse your therapists view that it is all about 'effort' or 'motivation' either. When people don't change... I really don't think that 'laziness' or 'stubbornness' is the cause...

I guess I think that most take a middle ground...

The role of the therapist should be to help motivate the person. I mean, problems with motivation can be precisely why the person presents for treatment. To say 'I can't help you 'cause you aren't motivated' is fairly... Not so smart.

There is a middle ground lurking around here...

Besides which I think you are great as you are.