Mine was caused by medication. Sure I had dark thoughts before, and I had quite a bit of anxiety. But not depression, never had it. After three years use of an SSRI I felt I had to taper it out, it worked OK at first but at the end it was just numbing me out so totally I didn't care about anything. After I quit I felt relieved, I had gotten my emotions back. Then, I fell into the deepest of depressions.

Docs told me it was not the med, it was just a weird coincidence. They wanted me back on the same med and up the dosage to 300 %, I was on 100 % of the max dosage from the start. I said no and tried other things for three years. Finally I found an SSRI that didn't blunt me out, worked on a very low dosage and lifted me from the depression, something I never thought would happen.

I think my brain was just way way too sensitive to take that hefty dosage of med I got at first, paired with the rewiring it does, quite irreversible if you come with a certain set of genes.

I see my depression as permanent brain damage caused by Zoloft. It could happen because I have the genetics for it to happen.

These days the genetics are started to be understood and tardive dysphoria is seen as a real thing. It wasn't in the past..... That sucked.

But I finally stopped being bitter about the fact that it actually happened in the first place.