100% comfortable with him watching porn. It was just the mother/daughter theme that upset me. I never watched the porn and was worried that it was incest and possibly a warning sign to look further into the molestation accusations.

Lycanthrope, my ex is abusive and controlling just like his mother. The accusations were that my 7 year old (4 then) had told them he made her feel "uncomfortable"
When I asked her about the conversation she just said she doesn't like when she tells him to stop tickling her and he doesn't right away. Also, she had no clue what the word uncomfortable meant. It, according to my boyfriend, was all adults in the porn. I never watched the video and have no clue.

George...
1 They're controlling manipulative jerks who were just trying to start a fight with a guy who had been new to my life. I knew that from the beginning. Just added it for background.
2. I guess I should have thought more about that. I was honestly just hoping people with experience would be able to help me see if I have something that counts more as warning signs or my ridiculously messed up head creating things that aren't true like it's done in the past. I guess I should plan out future posts a bit better, thank you for that.
3. Yes, there is no rationalizing it. After a 5 year relationship with my oldest daughter's father that was full of lies, mistrust, abuse, rape and plenty of other exciting details I don't exactly cope with people who hide or lie very well, and I have seen my boyfriend do both of these things. Not on the level I dealt with before, but it's clear he doesn't tell me everything. I don't like people, generally, I believe almost all of them are liars. It's scary, when you can't trust a damn soul because of the naivety that crippled you when you were younger. He's the closest I've gotten to anyone in years and while I love him with all my heart I know if there was something like that going on in his head, he wouldn't tell me. And I know I'm naive enough to fall for a good liar. Not sure if it's a risk I want to take, but yeah, that's why I came here. I was hoping to get some insight from someone who had been on this road before to help me. You aren't in this relationship, thankfully, so though I appreciate your advice, it doesn't seem to really add anything to the conversation I was trying to pull up.