I began seeing my therapist in college (2008), she was the youngest therapist there at just 7 years older than me. I started seeing her for a phobia and we were able to unpack what was fueling my fear. Our work ended with my graduation and her leaving my former university. However, she gave me her personal phone number and I began calling her, a year after graduation, when my phobia crept back up while I was away at grad school in another state. She begin offering me Skype therapy sessions when I became disillusioned with Student Psych at my grad school. The Skype sessions lasted for a year and a half and then I graduated and returned to my home state and began seeing her in person for sessions. Our work focused on my relationship issues with family and to a lesser degree, my phobia. Ultimately the phobia was treated through our work - thought it creeps up once or twice a year when I'm stressed. However my issues with working through relationships were ( and still are deep). Her therapy entailed basically loving me and giving me physical affection - non sexual. At first I thought it was transference but then during a session last year I told her I was hesitant to move for a job because I would miss her as she is like an aunt/older sister to me and no one has ever been there for me like she has for the past 6 years, sometimes risking her license, per my research. She asked me if I loved her after I shared my fear and I said yes but that I was afraid of admitting that because everyone loves their therapist but that it was almost never mutual or real. Then she asked me if I thought she loved me and I said no. She said I needed to be comfortable loving ppl even if they didn't feel the same and own my feelings. Then she said: " I love you too, very much." After that we continued to have session and had our final session just before I left the state. She gave me a gift and I've since begun work with a new therapist but my old therapist is still in my life. She sends me expensive gifts to "spoil me," she says because she knows I've never had that before. I took care of my parents growing up, and she saw it first hand so she's sympathetic. I was happy that she sent me gifts but I grew sad upon realizing that I didn't ( and still don't) know her favorite color, music etc., I don't know her well enough to send her a gift in return. I told her that and she said she would never expect one and that her gift is seeing me grow. I also realized that while she always makes herself available to me I feel like I am always doing the calling and texting. Also though she has sent me pictures of her husband and kids I feel like her secret. She had surgery and said I would not be on her husbands call list so she called to tell me it was a success but who would have told me if she had died? She also picked me up and took me out to eat one day and then her husband called while we were in the car and she said to be quiet because he didn't know where she was. Should I have a talk with her about all of this? I have not contacted her for a month hoping she would call me.

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