Hi All,

This is probably a really stupid post, but I've found myself inhibited lately by the lack of trust I feel with my T. The other day I told her something very scary and big, which was a very difficult thing for me to do as I've never told anyone about it before. She was great, and when I was getting really anxious, upset, and needing to leave, she let me go without question or deterrence, and emailed me later to find out how I was doing and if I was ok.

She has done a lot of extra research on the topic and spent time putting together little presentations and notecards of scientific reasonings for what I've been going through, and I really appreciate the hard work and extra time she is putting in to helping me, but I can't help feeling like I wish I had never told her. In the last few sessions, I've made sure to have topics to discuss that diverge us from talking about the subject. I know that she knows what's going on, she's far from stupid, but I don't want to/know how to continue talking about it.

To make matters worse, when I'm not with her I feel like she's talking about me behind my back, or telling people about what I've told her. I know that she's not, but I can't help feeling like there's an inevitable point in the near future where something terrible happens, or more that she does something terrible to me. I'm trying really hard to tell myself to stop, that there's nothing to be afraid of, and that she is a good person who is not planning on hurting me, but its not really working.

I know that I should talk to her about this, but I don't know how to do so without hurting her feelings; she's such a good person and done so much hard work, I don't want her to think that it was all worthless.

Has anyone gone through this as well and perhaps have suggestions?

Thanks,
Tongalee