Yeah my mother just wants to put the past behind us too. It would be nice if she could remember what that past was. For all the effort youre putting into your relationship with her right now, why isnt it better? Why is it always an uphill struggle? What are you doing wrong NOW?? I would guess nothing. I kept knocking at that door myself. I finally asked my mother why she even invited me to holiday dinners - she made all the plans with my brother, then called me. She said, well we dont want you to feel left out. Well, i wouldnt feel left out if i werent in fact left out!! She has only ever called me daughter sarcastically. I never noticed that until yes she did come to t with me - after my begging her for over 20 years - and current t asked her, "hasnt hankster been a goid daughter to you?" And she said "DAW-TERRRR??" like Jabba the Hutt. Like it was a foreign word. Can your mom handle you being gay? It could be just that simple. I think it was with mine.