I'm sorry Yearning, but I think that is all a part of the process. She can't hear your pain. Your pain is connected to her. If she accepts that your pain is legitimate. What does that say about her. She can't go there. It's much to frightening for her. Do you truly believe if you say what you need to say in front of her in a safe environment, it will move you forward? You may not get the conscious or subconscious response that you want. I hope it does. IMO you will have to mourn with your therapist what she can never give you. And I kid you not, it will be pure hell, yet I believe you and others can do it. You have to walk through the gutter to climb out. I was in a similar place as you are. And, it was this same "last piece" for me that held me back. Eventually, I got to freedom on the other side. And, I'm rooting for you no matter what.