Hello,

I wish my Spanish were as good as your English!

First and foremost I am quite familiar with what you are going through and my ex-husband would say that reading your account of the relationship is like looking into a mirror. One thing I've learned in the 20 years of dealing with mental health issues, if the patient doesn't believe anything is wrong or doesn't believe they need professional help to start feeling better, nothing will change. The change has to come from her. It was very difficult for my ex-husband to watch, but there was not much he could do. Every time he tried to help I verbally abused him even more. I realize this will be difficult, but you will have to let her find her way. I suppose it would be OK for you to mention briefly that you would like for her to see a doctor that can make her feel better. But don't elaborate. It sounds like you really care for her. Please don't rescue her every time she calls. If you are concerned, you can stay in the background and if something really serious happens like going to jail, you can bail her out, but continue to keep your distance until she agrees to see a doctor.

You mentioned she was on Abilify. I AM NOT a doctor but I have taken that drug and found it to be too strong and it made me crazier than I already am. I'm pretty sure you have the same privacy laws in Spain as we do here so you would not be able to talk to the doctor who prescribed the Abilify why he prescribed it.

Once she asks to go to a doctor, she should see him alone for a while. Once the doctor feels there is some stability he will want to meet with you alone to explain what your girlfriend is going through. Eventually you may go in together and talk about how her behavior made you feel and vice versa.

I feel for you, just like I felt for my ex-husband. Many times I purposely magnified what I was doing to cause my ex-husband even more pain. My mantra was "If I'm miserable, you will be twice as miserable".

The good news is I saw the light and the benefit of seeing a therapist. It took a while, but the doctor finally gave me a cocktail of medicines that keep me stable 99.99% of the time. The bad news is that my marriage did not survive as husband and wife. But today we are best friends and I know if I need a kidney he would give me one and vice versa.

I'm sorry I cannot tell you whether your girlfriend is Bipolar or something else. I hope my long response gives you some comfort in that you are not the only person to experience what you are going through.

Please stay in touch and if you would like to PM (personal message) I'm available to talk and/or listen.