Hello!

I'm having a lot of sleep issues, that have now destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend.
I will tell the story as short as I can;

Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for 2 years. BUT, we had a break for 8 months. I was having a lot of issues with my borderline personality disorder, which made him want to leave me.

The breakup was very painfull, he did not want any contact. He was very rude to me en always told me to shut up, though I only tried to contact him about 5 times during all those months.

Worst thing about this, he started a relationship with a close girlfriend of mine, when we were only 2 months apart. He took her virginity, after she had been telling me for months all about what her viginity ment to her. She continued to lie to me about their relationship, so I found out when it had been going on for a month already.

The relationship lasted only 2 months. But it was enough to push me to the break. 8 months later, he contacted me, that he had realised I was "the love of his life". I tried to push him away, knowing that I was unable to forgive what he did. But eventually, I gave in, and told him I would try to forgive.

The point is, he is 10 times the man he was before. I can FEEL that he loves me to his full capacities now. So there are no problems in our relation, but her.

I've been having these dreams for 7 months now. I see him cheating on me with her. I literally see them having seks in front of my eyes ALL the time, every night. I am trying so hard to forgive, but these dreams make it impossible. I am at this point that I can't go on like this, so I asked for a break.

Why do I have these dreams? Why don't they stop, why can't I just forgive?
I hope someone can help me with this, because it is destroying everything I have..

Love, Demi