Dear abuser, I'm finally calling it what it is because what you did to me wasn't normal and it was abuse. I don't blame you for it because I know you weren't able to get the help that you needed. All they did was hit you even though they knew you needed help. I grew up thinking that what you did to me was normal and that what happened happened in families all the time. We just couldn't talk about it but it was perfectly ok. You didn't rape me, you didn't beat me till I was black and blue but what you did to me still affected me. I have been living with PTSD symptoms for so long. I can't feel happy, I can't feel anything, nothing even excites me anymore. I'm so afraid of people that just going out and being around people I love feels like an absolute nightmare. I feel like I'm just wasting my life away because there is nothing worth living for. Now they're saying I made it up, that I'm a liar and that it was just a consensual game but you knew it wasn't. All the times you locked us up, that wasn't consensual. All the times that you hit us, that wasn't consensual. And those other times, just because I didn't know or understand what you were doing, just because I didn't say no and I trusted you, doesn't make it ok. How can you just sit there while they make jokes about what happened to me and say I was lying? You know what happened and you know what you did. How can you just sit there without feeling even an ounce of guilt? I don't want to hate you and yet I can't forgive you. I don't think we will ever be ok. Not until the truth comes out...