hi beaflower,

i think what you want to do is really sweet.
but complicated, too. i've been in situations where someone else making the first step has really helped me and in others it has made me feel horrible. since being invited to participate when i feel that i can't actually do so because my fear reduces me in such a way that there really isn't anybody left to talk to not only makes me sad but also, in the case of me saying no to an invitation, starts this whole new fear of having rejected someone and not being liked because of that. plus, the whole disappointment for being such a coward and having missed my opportunity and so on...

but you sound like someone who could understand if someone maybe did not want to go to a big party immediately and since ultimately being alone sucks i kinda have to root for your classmate to get you as a friend.
of course this is only my very personal perspective, your classmate might be entirely different and enjoy his solitude.

maybe you could contact him in written form? again, that makes things easier for me personally, don't know about him. but it's definitely less confrontational = less chance of making a fool out of yourself plus a chance to actually breathe and think before answering. see if he answers and take it from there??