Quote:
Originally Posted by turtle2
Asiablue
I am finding that how our therapists approach us in these things is so important.
I'm not sure that framing this for you as a boundary crossing was helpful to you in this case. Boundary Crossing is a very loaded word and implies a shared responsibility. Was that the case here? I would freak out about this too.
What if she had framed it differently to you. What if she had simply said, "Asiablue, I truly want to help you. I've been thinking about our arrangement though, and think that *I* made a mistake, and we should talk about this again. We might need to find another way for me to help you." Is she taking full ownership here?
This may have been an internal boundary issue for her, but she is the one who crossed her own boundary by offering the sessions to you, not you. This is her own internal work to do, not yours. She needs to take responsibility for having inconsistant boundaries and for the pain this inconsistancy has caused you.
This was not your fault.
Turtle
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I couldn't agree more. Instead of taking responsibility for HER mistake and her own boundary crossing she would rather twist it and put it to you in a way that shames you.
You didn't take anything that wasn't offered so you did not breach any boundaries violations.
Even if this is her supervisors idea or suggestion she still had to have brought it too her supervisor.
I think that this is another example of a t deflecting their stuff into a client and dismissing any ideas that they were in fact responsible for this. I am sorry it has happened with two of your ts now.
Would you like to work it out or do you think this can be worked out if she were to admit her part in it.
I understand your feeling shame because I would too but realistically she should be ashamed for doing this, knowing what happened with your last t and how important boundaries are for you
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