You guys are great! Thank you SO much for all your replies and thoughts.

Stopdog, yes you are right, it wasn't T's place to suggest I look after my husband. I felt as if she had judged that he was worse off than I was! And she was supposed to be in my corner and helping me, not a marriage counsellor for us both. I feel that phonecall has ruined my relationship with T. This was quite a while ago now, at least 6-8 months, but still. I was very affected by it.

Hazelgirl, we have considered marriage counselling. I think my T does also work as a marriage counsellor and maybe that's what she was trying to do without asking permission to do it. I know she can't change my husband, only me, but what I feel is that she is on his side in most of this. She does stress that my issues are not my fault, but she doesn't acknowledge that my husband has a part to play in our joint issues. She seems to think he is the greatest husband ever for being patient with me. Which makes me feel even more undeserving and worthless than I already do.

Healingme4me, you are absolutely right. At the very least I would have expected T to go through the pros and cons with me about separating but she clearly had an opinion and shot down all my suggestions that I would be a better person on my own or better for my children. And I HATE when people assume that staying together is always best for the kids because I know from my own experience that if things are really bad, it is NOT best for the kids at all.

Perna, I know what you're saying about phone sessions...I have never had a good one to be honest and don't know why I keep trying. It's just annoying that T is 2 hours away. In person she is different. I don't know...this time I felt she couldn't wait to get off the phone and didn't really get why I was calling her...

I hate this. Sometimes I block these issues I have with T out and just accept the motherliness that she shows towards me which I badly need and lap up but in the back of my mind there are these niggles of things that I need to have out with her. It really spoils the good bits.