Rose, she can't destroy your life unless you let her. It feels to me like you're turning over all your power to her. By reacting this way about something so far back in the past, it will be you that destroys your life as you know it. If I was you, I'd think long and hard about what you really want. Do you want to keep your life and family as it is, or do you want to risk destroying it with your anger and resentment?