Thanks, Asia. I guess I just wish it was that simple for me to believe it. Because I DID always act like and think of myself as an adult, since I was very very young, even though I know emotionally I was a kid even if I could match adults in an intellectual debate and was constantly making adult decisions.

It's just that she's my mom. And thinking that she hurt me makes me feel like I lacked personal autonomy. Which obviously I did, because I was a child, but it's hard for me to believe. It's hard for me to see it just in black and white with her = villain and me = poor little abused kid, because I CAN see it from her point of view too.

Empathy can be problematic sometimes, I guess...