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Old Feb 22, 2014, 07:16 PM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
My stepmom, used to call me manipulative. I was 14/15 years old, and would ask for one on one time with my dad. It was a label, that stuck in my head, for many years, in a self doubting way. It translated, through the years, as an inability, unwillingness on my part, to assert myself, express my needs, led to being a door mat, unable to walk away from unhealthy relationships, the list goes on.
I, finally, early last year, asked my T, what exactly is it, to be manipulative. To either stop myself from doing it, or to spot it from others, because I still harbored all those negative tapes, from earlier in life.

Being direct and straight forward, not circular and indirect, is the difference. Lo and behold, if I have tended to be direct and straight forward, guess I'm not the one being manipulative, eh?

Telling your story, directly, albeit evoked emotions is NOT being manipulative.


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Thanks for this!
Yearning0723