I rememeber at one point during my session yesterday T saying I tend to repeat my childhood by hooking into unavailable people. I agreed, I know that, but I can't get the emotional side of it.

I did tell her that I am begining to see that our relationship is a working one and I think that scares me. I then want the safety of a non available relationship.

T asked me what scares me about a available relationship? I couldnt really answer except to say I feel I know how to defend myself in a unavailable one, that I have oontrol, but with me and her I dont know whats going to happen next?

The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is that I am afraid of becoming weak. I guess an available relationship is where one has emotions involved? Their heart is involved? but an unavailabe realationship is more "imaginary"? I;m not sure. Any ideas?