Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika.
Noticing someone is one thing... oogaling like the woman is merely an object is another. It's disrespectful, and contrary apparantly to what some of the men who oogle think, it's not flattering or a turn on. Like the ones that shout at you about your body parts from their cars as they drive by you.... ya that is so not gonna pick up most women. I don't know what they are thinking. Obviously not considering how they are making the other person feel. It feels anything but good at least to me. Kinda dehumanizing experience. When they do it when I am with my children...... 
I don't care if a man notices me and keeps it respectful. But there is a line and we are supposedly a civilized society. You dont have to make someone uncomfortable just to get a look. I think the women here understand the difference, I mean you can literally feel it.
This has been happening more and more often while I am with my daughter. She is 13!!!! And a tiny 13 year old at that. She dresses very modestly and looks about 11 or 12.
And that is a whole other topic. I am so not into slut shaming women for what they wear. You know I wear short skirts and stuff sometimes. And it is NEVER for extra attention. More often it is because I like it, it feels good on me, or its too damn hot outside. Or perhaps I am on a date with my bf.... shocker!!!I still keep it clean, I am pretty modest. It's not invitation to act like a perv. Period. Sure maybe some women do want attention..who knows. Something tells me behaviour says more than clothes to point to what one is seeking. . And that would be their choice and none of my business. Do men have to worry about this and how they dress.
Maybe men do not realize this because a lot of them would probably love to have women oogling them. There is a big physical power difference, men while being the physically "stronger" might realize to use that to offer the females a sense of protection instead of a sense of aggression. My bf doesn't mind when men notice me if it's respectful, he feels flattered, but he is very uncomfortable with the creepy leering types and gets a bit angry with that...seems even some men can see and feel the difference.
I am using some generalities I know. Seems some men did not like this thread here and had to get their say..too bad. I cant see the problem with respecting females feelings in this area. It's not a big thing to ask. When should we care about how the other feels about how we treat them. |
I have to agree with everything you said here, I think you said it spot on. It's a terrible thing in this society to be raised to objectify women, and for women to have to deal with it just because "boys will be boys". I wish you and your daughter all the best
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In reply to what hamster said, I totally don't agree that having a sour facial expression makes your boobs your only good asset to look at, at all. We should not have to smile or look pleasant to men to be treated fairly and like humans.
Wanting to be seen as a whole human and not a set of breasts is not entitlement. It's a human right.
To have someone tell you your face needs to look happier/ more inviting in order to not be objectified is.. downright wrong. The OP wasn't being ageist or discriminatory, she was expressing her anger at her experience to someone who would have been creepy and slimy regardless of age, amt. of children, etc.
I've experienced everything the OP wrote about, and it sucks. I don't have big boobs either, but I'm young and creepy men (young and old) like to stare and comment. Everytime it happens I get so angry and think along the same lines as what the OP wrote. I hate it so much that I don't like to leave the house, because in my area there are a lot more men than women and it's a dangerous and threatening environment.
Personally I think you need to have some self control and not ogle women because it objectifies us, dehumanizes us, trains us to be afraid. We are only boobs and vaginas to some men, unfortunately that's a product of the society we live in.
An excuse might be 'I have eyes, I can look wherever I want' but it's the mindset that comes with the action that makes it really problematic.
How would men feel if all women did was stare at their groins? Some would feel flattered, but if it happened as often and in similar circumstances as when it happens to women, I'm sure they'd be uncomfortable with the objectification.