I think the intense confusion comes when it's a mixture of transference and attraction. If the T has attractive qualities, that can cause some level of discomfort, but throw into that some transference as well, you've got yourself a pickle. Understanding where the transference comes from and acknowledging the attraction can help. I have talked to my T about this and she has handled it brilliantly. It does ease the pain when you can talk about it. Not sure if the option to widen your support network is available to you, but I have found this has helped (a bit).