So I'm sure my T knows about this as I talk about it during sessions, but I'm pretty sure somebody, most likely the government and something else, is out to get me. They do things to disrupt my life and they gave my mom cancer as part of my punishment. I refuse to get my abilify in a shot because I don't trust what else they'll put in it and that'd give them the power to control me.

I have an 8hr eval coming up next week, but I don't think that will "show" anything about this. It might show my depression and different anxiety disorders, maybe personality disorder, but not this. Is this paranoia or delusional? Not schizophrenia right, because I don't see things that are not there. I mean I've seen a shadow type figure fly around in my room but that could be anything. I also have panic attacks when I sleep, and wake up feeling like I'm dying, and have seen myself sitting on my bed, but not feeling like I have a body. Sorry if I don't make sense.