I really relate to your post too. I'm sorry I don't have any advice just to say I understand where you're at. I did confide in a friend but it went badly. She just didn't understand and basically told me how lucky I am to have what I have.... It was a really horrible experience as it took a lot to let my mask fall and now she is just cross with me for not making changes that she suggested (like leaving my husband!) It was a hard lesson and I am even more guarded now.