Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
I think you need a comma after moaned. And i question the use of the word bubbling - it sounds too delicate for this scenario?
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I'm going through my fiction and re-writing them. I need to read more erotica to get a better understanding on how to write erotica.
That sentence has many errors in it. I'm starting with that particular piece of writing, Nightmares in Berlin, and combing through it.