Dear HappyOne, this really is emotional abuse and control. It sounds foul to me, and all too familiar with a situation I found myself in, with children, that developed into severe oppression and full-on abuse.

Like keeprolling said, someone submitting to this sort of treatment becomes a shadow of themselves ... It sounds like you're already beginning to be unsure of which way is up.

I say, please get out and move on while you still have hold of most of yourself and your sensibilities!!