Indestructible I am so sorry for what you are going threw. I can totally relate. I get these little pieces of memories or visions and I wonder if they are pictures of what really happened or if my brain is tricking me. I did eventually tell my T about all this stuff, and she had a sneaking suspicion that something did happen some where in time, but it was not for her to suggest to me, I had to be the one to suggest it, otherwise she could potentially plant ideas in my mind.

I write a lot about what I dream, about what I think, what I remember, what I feel. I let her read weekly what it is that I am thinking. It is just how we start every session. I wake up in the middle of the night and write, I pull off the road and write, (I keep a note book in my car) A smell , a should, a face, an event may trigger another thought. I have learned to take time to get lost lost in those thoughts for a few minutes if I have time to.

Please know that you are not alone in this struggle. T's know how to deal with this. I am learning that no details have to much gore. They really have heard it all and seen it all. It is up to us to take control in ow own healing and let them know what is going on with us. Good luck.